The diagnosis of my son has truly changed my perspective on everything. I use to go to a board a lot that had other women who are due at the same time that I am. Now I avoid it. The questions and fears of the women on this site seems so petty and well silly. One goes off on her hubby for not getting up and getting her food in the middle of the night. Another stressing over what kind of diaper brand to use. And another post there stressing over the fact that thought they have 8 weeks to go the clothes they bought for baby hasn't been washed. I can't handle going to that board anymore! because I know I'm going to snap at one soon. especially the mother who doesn't want to hold her baby right after he/she is born. That post I have been close to going off on!
So what things am I stressing about? Well being able to hold in for only a few minutes has been a really hard thing to think of. After they take him how long will it be before I can see him again? My heart aches at that thought and I know it is needed it still a hard thing to think of! I also am very much hoping to not have to go c-section becasue if I do I may not be discharged in time for his operation! Will I be stuck in my hospital room when he's being operated on?
How am I going to handle seeing him with all those tubes and not being able to hold him after he has surgery. Of course I know he can't be held and all of this is for the best its still a hard thing to think about and that time he will be in the NICU I imagine will be one of the hardest times in life. The hardest being those hours that he is having surgery. I know in the end I will find the strength to get through all of this. I need to find it, I have no choice. It will be what it will be.