Sunday, December 30, 2012

Happy new year

New year was never something I celebrated but this year? I am hoping for a much leas stressful year! Yes Aiden was worth it all but I hope all the big stuff is done with his heart. We will not know for a while though. I . called to make a cardiology appointment and there was only one day available in March. It was on his first birthday. We have been wait listed and . may not be getting in until April.

I did this for several reasons first I didn't want him to be sedated on his birthday!Also my in laws should hopefully be here for his birthday. They were supposed to be here for Christmas but got very sick and couldn't come. My mother-in-law ended up being hospitalized for Christmas. She is home now. I really hope they make it for his birthday .This is the third trip that they had to cancel due to sickness.

Side note I hope this post works I am writing it on my new kindle fire :).

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Its OK!

I was looking at the post I made one year ago today: let it be ok . I remember that day oh so well. It was the day I was told there might be something wrong with my unborn babies heart. The part I remember the most is waiting in the waiting room for the nurse to call me back and talk with my Doctor. I was scared and crying in the waiting room. I probably scared a lot of other expecting mom's that day. Think the thing that bothered me the most at that time was the unknown territory I was about to adventure in. Was there a problem with his heart or where they seeing something that wasn't there? Of course we now know there was and I would learn more about his heart a month later and all of what we would en devour after.

All I want to tell that scared girl in the waiting room that yes he won't be the perfectly healthy baby that everyone dreams about. But that's ok! because he's ok heck he's perfect! well his heart still isn't but that's ok he's a wonderful little guy whose little hands go cray every time he sees you showing how much he wants you to hold him and play with him! What a differnce a year makes.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Connorisms part 2

  • Get your hands out of the potty!
  •  After listening to Aiden cry because he had his shots Connor goes "We need to call the Doctors so they can tell Aiden sorry."
  • To any minor problem: "I'm sorry mommy!"
  • "Talk to me zombie. Mommy he needs to talk." 
  •  I put aiden down he started crying Connor looked at me grunted and said " Mommy pick up your baby he's crying!"
  • Me trying to get Connor to brush his teeth "Hunny you need to brush your teeth or they'll fall out." Connor "But Mommy I want them to fall out so I can put it in a bag and the tooth fairy will come and bring money." 
  • At a party yelling as loud as he could "Everybody! Look over here!"
  • Opening the door to each person coming to the house for said party " Welcome to the Christmas party!".
  • Woman at the store sees I'm trying to exit the isle and not so subtly pushes her cart so that it blocks the exit Connor looks at her and then the baby in the cart and exclaims" You forgot you baby!"

Monday, December 17, 2012

Basketball and doctor appointment

 First off I took Aiden in for his 9 month wellness check up. He gained 4 ounces in a week, which for him is really good. I was happy with it! He continues to gain just slowly.  Now he just needs to want to be mobile. I put him down one place and move away and instead of trying to come to me he seems content being were he is at and so doesn't try to move.
I wanted to mention something that happened last week just never got around to it. Last week the owner of my work had a meeting, something I didn't remember him ever doing. Usually the end of the year meeting is held by the big boss. Anyways he goes in front of us all and starts talking about Aiden. He was going on about how he could not imagine dealing with what we dealt with. he mentioned that when his son was little he got really sick for 2 days and had a hard time. he got really emotional this part basically to tears. he then grabbed a bag and pulled out a basketball and Utah Jazz jersey and gave it to us saying that he knows he can;t us it now but he WILL be using it in the future. I was so touched by his gesture and wanted to take some pictures of Aiden with the ball and jersey they turned out so cute even with my cat sneaking in to the background. Have I ever mentioned my cat likes babies? He's a silly cat.

Saturday, December 8, 2012


OK so I really needed to do an update for a while now just haven't gotten around to it! Overall were all doing well. The stomach bug we had last week sucked! Aiden didn't keep any milk down for eh first 24 hours only pedilyte. I tried to give it to him via sippy cup and not surprisingly he didn't like using it. Kept gagging. I figured anything but the one bottle he will take will take a long time for him to use.
he spent the next few days throwing up a few times a day. I really hope he this didn't effect him to much weight wise we will find out Monday when he has his first synagis shot.Learned more about the shot it is in fact antibodies. They don't stop the cold from happening git just helps them fight it.

Last week I put Aiden into an outfit that Connor wore when he was 2 and a half months old thought I could show how little Aiden really is.

Connor with Santa

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Festival of trees part 2

Sorry lacking in posts haven't been up for it as of late. Had a bad stomach bug last week that keeps reappearing from time to time with all of us, boys included. Yup it's Aiden's first cold. No fun at all! We did go to the Festival of trees on Saturday. They sold all of the trees, wreaths and quilts! Such a great cause :).
My boys and the tree I helped with :).

Friday, November 30, 2012

November 30: Newborn Heart Defect Screening Awareness Day

Was planning on doing more today because its Newborn Heart Defect Screening Awareness Day, but we all have a stoma ch bug so I'll keep this short.  If  my little ones defect had not been detected at the time I knew nothing about a  pulse ox test nor the signs to watch for a heart defect. I was so uneducated about it all. Now I am and want to spread the information to whomever I can. The following videos contain such information.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Festival of Trees

Today I went and helped decorate the tree for the festival of trees with IHH. It was fun and boy did they put in a lot of work in making all of the ornaments. wish I had had the time to help make them, at least I was able to go and help decorate and not have jury duty!  I spent the first few hours putting together a cute kitchen set. Overal it was fun and nive day off of work!

WE are planning on going to the festival on Saturday so more pictures pending! Oh and those going the the festival our tree is at b18.

Tis the season

So I got up Sunday with Aiden long before anyone else got up in the house like normal. We didn;t ahve much food in the hosue so I got Aiden ready and headed to the store. I decided to put him in the seat in the cart instead of his car seat because he is 8 months old and can sit up by himself. he;s just little.

This is basically how he looked the entire time! He didn't try to bit it at least and near the end he just held onto my hands, but yes I think he prefers the car seat and he is still small enough to keep him in the portable one. Think I'll wait until he is a bit bigger before trying this again.

After we got back and Connor got up about an hour later. We pulled up the rest of the ornaments and Connor helped put them up.  I tried to take a few pictures of both boys in front of the tree, but as of late Connor just wouldn't have it! I'll try to get a picture of him later.  I got a great one of Aiden swith his tongue out! I've wnated tog et one of those he likes o stick his tongue out at you and seriuosly this kid's got a tongue!

So how did I get him to do that smile?  Just had to sing when I was taking the picture and also got lucky when it got taken.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

This and that

 Love this picture of Aiden, Overall he's doing well he just doesn't show any desire to crawl at all. he just wants to stand with a little help from me. He grabs my hands and uses me to balance and stands up over and over and over again. I read into it some babies due skip crawling and just go straight to walking. found out his daddy did that! So will see were he goes with this.

Our bird Toodles finally abandoned her eggs and I got to clean out her cage which was a wee bit messy since I couldn't get to it sooner. At the bottom of this post is a picture of one of her eggs next to one of Connor's toy cars. Her eggs are tiny!

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Christmas cheer?

When I was little I LOVED decorating but right now? I just can't get into it at all! Can't get into much of anything actually. I just do not feel like myself at all! Maybe its the 8 day period? Or the fact my hormones are off and I cried for a few hours this morning? I dunno but its been a long time since I could say I felt normal. If this is my new normal this sucks. It stakes a lot of effort to get myself to do anything right now. I think of doing it but I just can't seems able to. It just sucks.

One good thing I have no jury duty Monday so will be helping with the Festival of Trees even that I feel I need to psych myself up.

BIrth control

Short rant I guess I'm on the mirena for birth control and I swear why do I always get the rarer side effects? Only 5% have weight gain... yeah I feel huge after getting this darn thing. Same with skin irritation... can't stop itching and of course they say for most women they have lighter shorter periods but in a very small percent it can be longer and heavier... well of course that would be me! Ive been in debate about calling my doctor and seeing if I can get on something else because this isn't working, but then I remember I've never done well on any of it. it all makes me feel like shit. They all cause me to gain weight and in some cases increase depression *sigh*.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Thursday, November 22, 2012


I wanted to make a special post for Thanksgiving. If anything this year has shown me that there are many things for me to be thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving and here is what I ma thankful for!

  • The Ultrasound technician who felt something did not look right with my unborn babies heart.
  • For my Doctor who felt we needed to investigate into it more and sent me up to Primary Children's Medical center.
  • For the Echo that discovered the problem with his heart that would give him his fighting chance.
  • For the surgeon who saved my babies life.
  • For the family who said yes to tissue donation and helped saved my babies life.
  • For the nurse who sat next to me and talked the day after his surgery, when I was saliently in despair knowing my Aiden was in pain but could do nothing to help. She got me laughing and smiling during that time.
  • My older son who's smile and wacky sense of humor helped me through those days Aiden was in the hospital.
  • My husband who kept me grounded through all of this.
  • My mom with0out her I believe this journey would have been much to hard for me to have handled. I'm thankful she is there for us everyday. The fact she watches my boys each day while I ma work gives me a piece of mind. I know there sin a place that they are both safe and loved. 
  • My dad who seems to know the right moment to give me a hug.
  • My brother whose wit gets me laughing . Who gets me to go and play video games because he knows its on outlet that has helped me in the past.
  • Aiden's smiles and laughs! OH how do I love my boys so!
  • Intermountain healing hearts. Having other women who has gone through what I am going through has been a life saver! They have put my mind at ease many times
  • I am also thankful for all of my friends on facebook and on here. Everyone's encouragement has helped me so
Thank you all.


Sunday, November 18, 2012

We won something really?

So on Thursday my hubby got an e-mail starting that he won an XBOX. Are first thoughts? Yeah right, even though it was from a haunted house that he had helped out with last month. He had entered the contest just or the heck of it. Someone has to win though normally its not us. it was to late to call tat night so we waited until the next morning and low and behold yup he won an Xbox 4 games and a TV!

Above is the prize packet he won. he picks it up tomorrow. So yay! It also going to help with Christmas presents I ad no idea what to get hubby now there are games he wants so there's that. But yup we actually won something! :D

Tough on a side note I got a letter that I may have Jury Duty sometime between 11/26-11/30. I am really, really hoping its not the 26th! I have that day off to go and help decorate a tree for the festival of trees with Intermountain Healing Hearts so cross fingers I don't get called in that day. Or well I'll be pissed off! I have not taken one day off this year for me! That day was for me and now I may not get to do it :/.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

8 Months

 He did not want to sit normal in the chair today didn't want to lay back but sit up!

Stats: At his last appointment (November 6th he was 13 pounds 11 ounces and 25.3  inches long).

Diapers: Size 2

Clothes: 3-6 month clothes.

Eating: he 's drinking up to 5 ounces at a time now and  recently had mash potatoes on Sunday and was told by his Doctor to try all kinds of very soft foods on thanksgiving.

 Sleeping:  amazing sleeper at night.

Milestones: He loves to sit has been saying mama, chatters a lot and blowing raspberries..

Medical: Eh all I can report is he's been approved for synergies by the insurance. his first shot is next month.

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

The Heart World

This world we got thrown into can be so hard and its not fair! Aiden thankfully is doing oh so well. I won't know anything until next year about what we may need to do in the future and I'm trying not to dwell on it just enjoy him as he is now. The cutie started blowing raspberries today and well its cute, but oh so very messy!

My mind is on one particular little heart hero tonight her name is Kylie and she isn't doing well. Was born with a half a heart her only chance is a heart transplant. She and Connor are 3 days a part in age. When i see pictures of her I can't help but think of Connor, she looks like a girl version of Connor, even has the spunk that Connor has.  Its coming down to the point that she may not have much time left. her family is trying to spend all the time with her as they can in the hospital. my heart breaks for them all I can do is hold my boys tight and now how lucky I am to have those two! Aiden's defects are nothing compared to others.

I can do little to help her Kylie or her family I can only ask for those who have not said yes for organ donation to think about it. It could save so many lives. Its not an easy think to talk about, but please think about it. Think of Kylie who has been listed for over 200 days and in the hopsital for 100 of that. give life to another in I know would be the hardest situation you have ever been in. For more information about this cutie go check out her care page on facebook.

Sunday, November 11, 2012


So we got two parakeets earlier this year one died but the other is dong well my hubby has been wondering for sometime on if the bird was a boy or a girl. Well we found this week what she is. And yes its definitely a she! I had no idea that a bird by itself would lay eggs, but she did at first just three but now its up to six.  Now these eggs are duds of course I mean we only have one bird so no baby birds. Thankfully. we got enough on our hands we don't need little baby birds!

I must say Connor has been so good with this birds, the bird is his named her Tootles (Mickey Mouse Club House). He changes her water all teh tiem and tells us when her food needs to be changed. NOw I had to look up what to do about her eggs. Right now we leave them be we ahve to wait until she abondons them before we can take the eggs out, If we take them to soon she'll just lay more eggs. Which I read can be bad for her so wait it out is what we will do.

Funny thing is my mom has a yellow parakeet and now keeps looking for eggs. The story behind how they got there bird and name for it is to good. My son was in there back yard with grandpa and a yellow bird flew by and hit there fence. My dad went over saw what it was picked her up and went and got my mom. An avid bird lover. Well she went and got her old bird cage put the bird in it. They did look to see if anyone had a missing bird missing and there was nothing. So they kept the bird and named it Thump.. becasue the bird thumped into there fence and got a home. Like I said cute story :).

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Growth chart

First just wanted to say hello snow! Wow did it snow a lot last night!When I got out of work my car was covered and I couldn't find my good scraper. Once again I go and hide it from my oldest boy and all I end up doing is hiding fit from myself. Oops!

I wanted to share Aiden's growth chart today give an idea on how he is doing.

 He is below the chart but has made his own curve which I've been told us all that natters. Also the sudden dip in weight? Thats when the feeding tube was removed and we started working on getting him to eat by himself and getting his tummy bigger!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Small update

Sorry guys haven't been up to posting much, I've been dealing with insomnia and just to tired to write much.  I took Aiden to the doctors yesterday he gained almost a pained and grew almost an inch, so he's gaining! Just not on the chart. He is also eating more and his pediatrician said for Thanksgiving we can start giving him fruits and veggies from the table as long as we really mash it up.  Need to get him use to more solids.

The picture above I got to the Doctors a little early  and so I let him hold on the steering wheel. he was standing on me but was holding himself up without me needing to support him! Such a big guy!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

This is Halloween

OK we had fun today! I went to work early so I could leave early and take Connor trick or treating, work overall was actually fun. They had a food and pumpkin contest!

Wanted to pass this on from an old coworker:

Hello to my old coworkers!  I wish I had a happier reason to contact you. In case you haven’t seen the local news the past few days, there’s a missing elderly man named Fritz Helland from the east Millcreek area here in Salt Lake.  He’s my husband’s grandfather.  He’s been missing since Wednesday afternoon when he was last seen just south of his home near 3300 south and I-215 walking his dog Odin (a miniature Doberman pinscher).   He is 80 years old about 5’ 11’ with blue eyes and white hair.  He was last seen on foot (his vehicle is still at home) wearing a light tan jacket.  The small black and brown dog he was with is also missing.  The prevailing theory is that he may have gotten lost Wednesday evening and sought shelter.  Thursday and Friday brought wet weather and freezing temperatures.  Although the official search for him has ended, the police and the family would like to ask property owners all over the east side of the valley to please check sheds, garages, or anywhere he could be hidden. If you live in the Salt Lake Area, please check your property and please forward this to anyone in the area you can think of. 

Thank you very much,Jessica

Sunday, October 28, 2012


Been reading about different things about bullying and its got me thinking on how my kids will be about it. Connor is one friendly kid. He is not shy at all and will go up to any kid and try to interact with them, no matter who they are. Though he does  gravitate towards girls more. He calls everyone his friend and generally speaking he wants to friend everyone he can. Now if you push this kid he will push back he doesn't back down, which is very challenging as a parent. it make you want to pull your hair out kind of thing. Now I do feel with Connor if he is bullied and with the zero tolerance rule I think will be seeing him get suspended.  You see if a kid fights back even if there not the one being the bullier an just defending themselves they'll suspend that kid to and Connor will. I've never agreed to this policy tone way to get a bullier to stop is to stand up for yourself but they don't want that and I think that's wrong. I know others will disagree with me but that's my opinion about that.

Now I am more worried about Aiden just because kids can be very very cruel. Will they make fun of him for his scar? If he stays small I know they will go after him for that. Kids are mean about stuff like that and it does worry me. His personality is starting to emerge and I can't tell how he will be around others/ he does seem shy around big groups. When we are about and I holding him he buries his head into my shoulder, but could be just to much going on and hes going into overload. he's to young to tell yet.

Only thing I can say is that were going to know Connor's teachers and possible principle very well. Some of the rules now a days like you can't say Merry Christmas! Will not go well wit this kiddo!

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Witch Hunt

My parent's took my boys to Gardner village which has a witch scavenger hunt going on. From what my Connor said and the pictures sent to me looks like they had fun!

Well Connor had fun Aiden slept ;).

Help a fellow heart mom

Could you guys please go and help a fellow heart mom for me? She has her son in a contest to win an ipad. He has half a heart and they go to many many doctor appointments. One would help her out a lot! Keep her kiddo busy while waiting to get in to the appointment. This is on facebook!

LIke the page and then give then give 5 stars. This does not work on phones.
Go here, thank you.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Time out Thursday

First off this is going to be a short post, didn't get a lot of sleep last night so not up to writing a lot. Anyways I go and check my e-mail today and find the following two pictures sent by my dad.

So I'm thinking were in the world did he go to get these pictures then a light bulb comes on. That's right he was going to go to the dentist and the last time I was there with Connor the new play area was under construction! I'll admit this is not what I was expecting them to be making! So much funner then the generic play area they use to have!

Friday, October 19, 2012

My mind is stuck on a little girl and her family.

Sometimes life just isn't fair. :'(

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Time out thursday- the Zoo

So what did we do that made my week? we went to the zoo finally!!! Had yet to go becasue it has just been to hot for my cute little Aiden, but we finally went. I've always loved going to the zoo since I was a little girl. And when we went? I had more fun then I had in sometime. They opened a new section a while back that includes a polar bear, seals, otters and grizzly bears. Unfortunately the otters were never out, bit bummed about that I LOVE otters oh well. Maybe next time.  Below are a few pictures from the new sections.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Saturday, October 13, 2012


This is what happens when a 4 year old gets a hold of your camera!

Thursday, October 11, 2012


Sorry! I was going to do a bunch of updates just to tired to do it. Busy season at my job has hit and yeah tired because of it. I'll just post a few pics from Saturday and leave it at that.

Friday, October 5, 2012

No words

Its a rough time in the IHH heart community.  sitting here debating how to write this just as Monty Python said Life's a piece of shit. A little girl who received a new heart when she was a baby at 4 years old flew to Disney World, for her make a wish. The day she was suppose to see Minnie she ended up in the hospital instead.  She was in rejection and her heart was in bad shape. She went into to have a cath something went horribly wrong. She was put onto life support. Tonight they have determined that she is brain dead. Instead of playing in Disney world with there little girl her family is now saying good bye. There blog.

 I'm going to end this post with a quote from another heart mom its how we are all feeling right now:
I feel like the world should stop and pay attention to these heart kiddies that are fighting so hard. All the news stations should be talking about these heart kiddies. But the world keeps going. There is no fan fair, no rallies, no public outcry. But today the world is filled with private broken hearts, pleading prayers, simple expressions of love and support. The things that were important yesterday, like what to make for dinner and whether my kitchen is clean, just don't matter. Today is for spending cuddle time with family, sincere prayer and reminding people that they are loved.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Time Out Thursday

I'm going to do something new on my blog each Thursday becasue I need to have some more positive thinking in my life. There is good in this world I just need to be reminded of it! If anyone wants to join me in this please feel free. You can use the button above and please link your post by commenting below.

So what is this all going to be about? I'm putting myself in time out as it were, time out from all of the negativity in the world. being in the heart world there is so much sorrow and pain life can change in a second with some of these kids. I'm so thankful that Aiden isn't nearly as bad as others.