Monday, October 1, 2012

Confessions of a shy girl.

I'm not good in social situations in fact I am darn right awful. My hubby always teases me about it becasue on the one hand I want to make friends, I do at times get lonely and wish I had someone I could just talk to, but when opportunity arises. Do I take it? No. As in the words of Monty Python "Run away Run away!"

I have been in debate about writing on here a little bit about my own problems...I just not good at it! Its the whole shyness thing I have and OK I admit it I'm also afraid to let people in. Why? I've been hurt in the past by trusting people, more then one and I'm tired of being felt used and thrown to the curb at the end of it all.

My shyness can get really bad, I have stage fright some to the point that I can totally freeze up and be unable to talk or move,heart racing scared to death. The larger the group the less likely I will say a damn thing. I'm a wallflower. Let me be in my little corner and I'm content. Talk to me one on one that works to.

Sad to say I had gone to the walk a few weeks ago in hopes of meeting other heart mom's I talked to one briefly. there were a lot of people there quiet a few around me and I couldn't handle it I in a sense ran away, by going to check on Connor.

I'm on guard around others. Saturday though I wasn't on full guard. I went with hubby to a walk with his costuming buddies and I actually talked to a few of them! I even got very close to telling one of because he was being a damn idiot.. I didn't but I was so close. Wish I had though would have like to see the look on every ones faces!baby steps I guess. I have had to come out of my shell a little. Dealing with so may different nurses and Doctors with everything Aiden has gone through I can't not talk to them!  I do not know if I will ever get better with this. I feel it is a part of who I am sometimes I'm just a watcher not a doer.
That's just part of who I am.


Jo who can't think of a clever nickname said...

Nothing wrong with being shy, it's better than being mouthy and opinionated!!

Why not try offering to help at the Heart Mums group, with refreshments or something? It gives you something to say to people.

You're right about having to deal with the medical staff forcing you to step outside your comfort zone. It will really help you as you realise you know as much as some of them through your personal experience.

Ali said...

I was so happy to finally get to meet and talk with you at the heart walk! I wanted to talk more, but I think I got distracted by Tanner or someone else in my family I was trying to keep entertained... lol. I felt bad since I thought I kind of cut off our conversation.
Are you going to the IHH birthday party? If so, we should totally get tables next to each other for the trick or treat and so we can chat and the hubbies can dish out the candy. hee hee!

Heather said...

Unfortunelty no can't go. Work nights just are not good for us! Especially in October, hubby is just leaving work now and its 6:30 and with how far it is from our house? Just not possible.

Telisha Garris said...

Next walk - or group thing - if you want I will come with you and chat it up with everyone!
Also I promise if you come to my party next month you won't be put on the spot, embarrassed or ignored.
The focus will be the food and the purses, you can bring someone with you!
Just want you to know I will help anyway I can!