Smile.

Happy moment.

Need some of these right now. Been a little depressed. Worried about Aiden's heart my grandpa also isn't doing well at the moment (in heart failure). Lots on my mind, more then I want to get into.

Happy Birthday Connor!

I can't believe it my Connor is 4 years old today! Where did the time go??? Seriously where did it go? On Sunday we had a party for him. he wanted a dinosaur party completes with dinosaur decorations, cake and balloons. Now I love getting the big helium balloons for his birthday this year couldn't. There is a helium shortage and they were not filling big balloons.  I love this kid so much! Even more now with Aiden he is such a great big brother! He loves to be a show off and Aiden seems to be his biggest audience :).

Cake made by grandma

I hate his cardio appointments!

We had a birthday party for Connor, I plan on posting pictures of it on his birthday so stay tuned for Wednesday!

Preview to future post

OK today I took Aiden to see the cardiologist and let me just say I was worried about it on edge. the whole bit and my feelings turned out to have some baring to them. Got there and waited until they had a room and was taken back. They first took his blood pressure. Took some time for them to get it because he did not want to stay still. I basically had to hold his leg so they could get a reading. After that they checked his height... they didn't tell me what it was and then weight. They said he weighed 11 pounds 15.9 ounces... why they can't just round that to 12 is silly! Guess they know I want him to hit that so lets have him be just barely under it, like if he drank two more swallows of milk he would've registered as 12.

Eye exam

OK I took Aiden in on Wednesday to have his eyes checked. Admittingly I was wondering how do they check the eyes of a 5 month old???? Well I found out. We were taken into a room that looked  like a regular eye exam room except for one big addition. On the opposite side of the exam chair was a TV and a mechanical chicken.  Yes that's right a  mechanical chicken.

Was I curious about the chicken? Of course! Did I ask about it? No figured I'd see what it was for! So anyways they first pulled out a bunch of long grey cards. On one side it was blank, the other had a black and white stripped square on one side. The boxes ranged in sizes. basically a card was held up and he would look towards it, usually with no problem at all. only times he didn't look was becasue something else had his interest.

The forgetful Mommy

What per say am I forgetful about? That Aiden is 5 months old! he is just so darn little that yes I forget it but he certainly reminds me of it by not acting like the 2-3 month old that he slightly resembles. today is a very good example of this. I was sitting at my desk Aiden in my lap (I was pumping oh joy) and Aiden started to get upset. I couldn't get up yet so ignored him at first that was until he started kicking is legs yelling and then started crying/ screaming. Yup 5 month old had a tantrum caught me off guard!

So when I finally got up he stopped crying! And when I headed to Connor's room were Connor was playing he started to smile and once in the room and he saw Connor started to make his happy noises! Yes I need to stop seeing him as a newborn and instead as a baby his wants are starting to show! I am glad he wanted his brother I truly hope there relationship stays like this it'll make me a very happy momma! Now i do hope he is a little more mellow then Connor but he will be what he will be!

Now and then

I pulled out another box of clothes that used to be Connor's Aiden is finally starting to fit on 3-6 month old clothes! Funny but it felt like Christmas in August! It was nice seeing different clothes that I could put Aiden in and some clothes that I do remember Connor being in. In fact one I remembered I had a photo of Connor in them so couldn't help it put Aiden in it to take a picture and then compare pictures. Just have to say and yes I am biased! My boys are so cute!

 For some reason my camera decided to make Aiden's picture look a little bluish in ton oh well. So there's my boys and I can say one they they have the same nose!

Wordless Wednesday

5 months!

Stats: On the 6th my little guy was 11 pounds 12 ounces. No idea on how long he is
Diapers: Still using size 1.

Clothes:  0-3 month clothes. Has fit into one 3-6 month onsie.

CHD bookmark

Well first off Aiden is starting to eat solid foods yay! He's doing very well, he even finally fit into a 3-6 month onsie. Yay! Anyways wanted to post the CHD bookmark I made over here. i know I said I wanted to keep more cross-stitch off of here but its a CHD bookmark so yeah ;).

I love these boys!!!!!

Heart aches

It one of those nights that I realize I need to step away from the heart community becasue many of the things I am reading is making my heart ache. Ache for the families and little warriors dealing with CHD. I feel myself so lucky with how well Aiden is doing and that his CHD wasn't nearly as bad as some others!

I wasn't given the option of comfort care. I recently read one mom chose this her baby's CHD was so bad that she would not live through her surgery so they opted not to have in and instead took her home to care for her and love her for her short time on this Earth.

Then there is little Matthew and Kylie. It seems, don't know the details that Matthew isn't doing well. he is been in the hospital for over a hundred days and  his only hope to survive is a new heart, one that has not come. I can't imagine waiting for something like, waiting for another person's child to die in order for yours to live. Its..... unimaginable.

Don't mind me guys I just feel sad and yet a little ... guilty? That my Aiden is doing so well.

Milestones

I must say overall my boys are doing really good! Connor has turned into a little story teller. Anything he does during the day turns into this whole story. He is also suddenly basically fully potty trained. Last week I got him to start wearing underwear during the day and diapers at night. On Wednesday he said he wanted to wear underwear to bed and has been wearing them ever since with no accidents!

I took him to the Dentist today and he did very well. I was worried he can either be really good or bad about things. He sat there and did everything very well. Guess I worried about it for nothing.

Aiden hit one of his milestones as well on Sunday he rolled over from his back to his tummy! What  I posted on facebook about it:

So had little A on his back on the floor Connor called for me left for just a moment came back and A was on his tummy! Yes he rolled onto his tummy for the first time when I wasn't there!

 I swear my boys do it on purpose ;).

Lastly on Friday had a scare Connor went to check on his bird ran out to me screaming. Thought he found a dead bird. Ran back expecting that and instead found a bird flying around in his room. Caught the bird and got him back to his cage. Talk about an adrenaline rush!

Heart kiddos

This has been the hardest year I have ever dealt with. Giving birth to my boy seeing him for only a few seconds before he was taken away to be given life saving medicines. to be brought back to my room hours later in a portable incubator. Taken away and not seen again until the next day. Having open heart surgery at 7 days old and finally coming home shortly before Easter. Its been hard, but there are those out there who have had it harder! Aiden is overall doing well he is gaining weight just slowly he had his weight checked this morning and he's at 11 pounds 10 ounces almost to the 12 pound mark! Sure some of the clothes he wears is still newborn but that's ok! he had a rough start.

I was on Intermountain Healing Hearts earlier on facebook (group of heart moms who go to PCMC) and I realize others have it a lot harder. Two of them are in desperate need of a new heart. I can't imagine having to wait for another persons child to die in order for mine to live.

One is Matthew  and the other little Kylie. Who is showing the final stages of heart failure. my heart goes out to those two little guys and there families.. I simply can't imagine and I don't want to imagine what there families are going through!

As I've said Aiden was hard enough but it can be so much harder then him and I feel very lucky in that aspect!