Going to start by saying not in the best of moods right now so if this post seems a bit down there's a reason.
I went and to work for four hours today because my maternity is only vacation time and the more time I take off the less I have when little A gets home. I wasn't happy at the thought of it this morning cried a little but to be honest it wasn't that terrible. I think I need the distraction right now. Sure I'm still hurting a bit but its not that bad. Like I said the distraction helped. Anyways work is nothing compared to the other thing going on in my life right now.
I went and saw little A after work and I knew he would look worse before I got there I mean it was a day after a big surgery, but ti was still so beyond hard to see him. He's right arm is very swollen due to the IV in his hand. He has IVs in both hands and one foot and the other foot has a monitor on it/ All of which appear to be very tender because of it.
He hasn't been peeing enough and has caused excess fluid on his lungs. The respiratory is helping with that and becasue of this it sounds like its staying for longer then they had originally estimated. Not coming out until the very earliest Saturday. Also becasue he isn't peeing enough he is jaundice and has fluorescent lights on him. His face is covered in a mask to protect his eyes. Also can't get really good pictures becasue the light and my camera do not mix.
He has a feeding tube in his nose and is getting a small amount of breast milk every hour to see if he can tolerate it. They say if he does they will increase the amount tomorrow. I didn't stay as long as I had originally planned I couldn't handle see him today. Every time the nurse checked on him he'd grimace or flinch. they needed to measure his tummy and I could tell that really hurt him. I tried to talk to him a little but even then he seemed agitated by it and when I touched his knee.. one of the few places that didn't have tubes or monitors he'd move away from the touch. Basically I did my best to not start crying in that room made it to my car and cried my eyes out... I'm crying as I type this now. I can't stand seeing him in so much pain it breaks my heart.